Tuesday, May 15, 2018

It's a Tide Pod!

So I put my backpack onto the x-ray machines conveyor belt as I always do, but much to my surprise, the operator slides it off into the “needs a hand inspection slot” after it rolled out of the machine instead of sending it on to me.
“I think you have a water bottle in there. Someone will be right with you.” He told me.
“Damn. Sorry about that!” I told him. “You would think I’d have the system down by now wouldn’t you?”
“Yeah, you’re here like every week!” he replied with a grin and then moved on to his next bag.
So there I waited for someone to come and dig the stupid water bottle out of my pack. I waited, and I waited, and I waited. . . After about 5 minutes, a TSA inspector finally approached me . . . and then veered off to the machine next to our x-ray to inspect someone else’s bag who had not been waiting as I had! After she inspected this other persons bag, she just walked off! No exaggeration, I probably stood there for a good solid 10 minutes waiting for some super special TSA inspector to finally decide that I was worthy of dealing with. I’m pretty sure that this is the first time that the TSA in the Austin airport ever did anything to piss me off and I’m still trying to decide if I was just being too sensitive?
Got to the Denver area with nothing else to write about. Even though I’d been at it for over 14 hours and my makeup showed it, I went ahead and went to a decent dinner when I got to Greeley Colorado. I had the chicken and shrimp carbonara at the Olive Garden and gotta say that I loved everything about it except the calories! Dinner all done, I headed to my hotel to call it a night, but as I was putting my stuff away I noticed a long sun dress that I brought with me to try on. I had bought it because I actually thought it was kind of cute, and unlike most sundresses, it didn’t require breasts and cleavage to wear it. I had to grin though as I took it out of the bag, because my wife and daughter both had made their opinions abundantly clear about the dress when they saw me wash it and hang it to take upstairs. As I was putting the dress on a hanger, I heard my daughter speak from a few feet behind me.

“What is that?” she asked, placing heavy emphasis on the word “that” to make it clear that she didn’t like it in the least little bit.
“Umm, it’s a dress?” I replied, no doubt with a deer in the headlights look. At that point, she put her hand over her mouth and made a production of laughing while sort of kind of acting like she was trying not to.
“What?! It’s cute!” I demanded, getting defensive.
“Dude, it’s a tide pod!” She quipped, and then both her and my wife busted out laughing. I turned and looked at the tide pod . . . err . . dress again and had to sigh, because now that she pointed it out, that was all that I could picture. In an instant it went from “Cute Sundress” to the “Tide pod dress”. I’ve got a stubborn streak though, so I took it with me on this trip just to see what I’d look like in it. Yeah, it’s going in the giveaway pile when I get home.

Today got off to a pretty good start, with my quickly and efficiently repairing my customers spectrometer. They had tried to replace a consumable component on their own, but couldn’t get it right, and so they brought me out to figure out what they were doing wrong. In a bit more than three hours, I had the thing done and was headed back to my hotel room where I got cleaned up and headed out for a movie and a day of shopping! I found four records that I like: two Gordon Lightfoot’s, a Linda Ronstadt, and a Dolly Parton, so I was off to a good start. Next I headed to JC Penny’s where I received huge grins from everyone that walked past me. You know, the “Oh look at the funny cross dresser!” grins that completely destroy your confidence? Yeah, that grin. So anyway, there I am looking for clothes that just might fit my fat ass when the customer I had taken care of that morning called me.
“Hey, I’m having trouble getting it to dry out. We didn’t have this problem before you worked on it today. Would you mind coming back?”  I looked at the time – 330 PM. I looked at my skirt and heels – ‘yeah, that’s kind of a problem’ I thought to myself with a mental giggle. I started doing the math in my head; let’s see, 10 minutes to get back to the hotel, 25 minutes to shower and change, 30 minute drive out to the customer. Sigh . . .
“Yeah, no worries. Give me about an hour to get there.”
No way around it, the job has to come first, so that was one of the shortest Kim days I’ve ever had. I went from a remarkably short work day to a damned late one and didn’t get back to the hotel until after 8 PM. Gotta be up at 3 AM again to head to the airport, so I’m outta here!


  1. Yup - That dress goes to the donate pile.... If that dress's top part were connected to a neutral solid bottom, it'd be attractive. But it is distraction because it has way too much color, and fails to frame you in a flattering way.

    I've made my share of mistakes too - and have donated a lot of clothes to charity that don't really work on me.

    1. I agree. Also it would probably be better if the dress weren't halter style, as the shoulder width is emphasized. Other than that, if you like it Kim, that is all that matters.
      Gendre Amore

    2. Kim, can I have it? Deedee

  2. All in a days work, I suppose, Kimberly! I would love to be able to travel pretty as much as you do. We *do* all have those days that we *think* that everyone is looking at us and giving us those huge grins or a look that is just a bit too much. You're doing just great, still! Keep it up, keep smiling, and keep yourself happy!