Saturday, September 6, 2008

Such a Nerd

So I found out two days ago that I get to spend a couple of days at the Southern Comfort Conference in few weeks. Problem is, since the day I found out I was going, I can't sleep. I mean I literally can't sleep at night. My brain just goes around in circles.
"I don't have a gown for the formal dinner!"
"Can I find one before then that fits and looks good and I can afford?"
"Should I spend the money on that when there are things my family could use? Well it IS a once in a life time thing and where else are you gonna get the chance to wear a gown??!!"
"What am I gonna wear the rest of the time? Every one has seen all of my out fits! Does that matter? If it doesn't matter, which outfits should I wear so that I feel pretty, don't look like a tramp, and might fool people into thinking I have a little bit of class?"
"Maybe I should TRY and look like a tramp! After all, where else am I gonna get the chance to get away with that??!!"
"All the girls will be wearing super short dresses and skirts, should I do the opposite to be different?"
"Some people have an idealized view of me based on my posts and blogs. When I meet them am I gonna ruin that image and show them that I'm just an ignorant red neck who doesn't know her head from her backside?"
"What if I make an ass outta myself?"
"I'm fat. I've GOT to stop eating until after the conference!"
"Will jogging half an hour every day help me look better in time?"
And when I get to the bottom of this list, to include dozens of other things that cross my mind, I start over at the beginning. And then I do it over, and over, and over <long intake of breath> and over, and over, and over . . .
Every night since I found out I was going, I've woke up at 3AM and can't get back to sleep because of this.
Well, I gotta get! The treadmill is yelling at me that I am fat and need to exercise. Oh, and you know I don't have a gown for the formal?!
I wonder if I can get a gown that fits and that I can afford in time?
I have no idea what I should wear during the day! Every one has seen all of my favorites!
Maybe I should try my mini skirt. Nah, ALL the girls will be wearing mini skirts, especially those young ones with perfect faces and figures, that have been taking hormones all their lives. I think I'm gonna haul off and slap the first young and pretty Tgirl I see there!
What I should I wear on the plane? Will my outfit and makeup still look good enough when I get there or will I have to change?
What about . . . .ARRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

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