Saturday, October 14, 2017

Going in Circles



It’s amazing the odd collection of stuff that goes around in circles in my steroid addled mind at 4AM on a Saturday morning.

My wife wants false and removable backs on the window boxes that I had to rebuild so that everything you put on a shelf doesn’t end up falling way back where you can’t reach it. I’m trying to figure out how to do that while keeping it removable, attractive, and functional.

The screen door on the back of the house was relatively cheap and fell apart. Should I buy a new screen door or I wonder if I might be able to actually build something attractive? If I try and make it myself, how do I join the horizontal and vertical pieces, because I don’t have a jointer or a dado blade, just a table saw. Should I use the table saw to remove half of the ends on the horizontal and vertical pieces so that I can glue them together and have the thickness of one board, or should I try and tongue and grove it? Can you do that with a table saw if you have patience?

The side door to our garage has been collecting water for 20 years and the frame is rotted out to the point that you can put your finger through it. This is a reoccurring theme in this house. How hard will it be to replace that damned door frame? How do I keep it from happening again? Gotta build some sort of roof over that side door to keep the water off of it. How the hell do I do that? How much of the structure behind that door frame is rotted out too and will require rebuilding? Why in the HELL did I sell a 100 year old house to buy this piece of garbage – what was I thinking?

The exterior wall of my upstairs bathroom rotted out years ago because the previous owner or builder of the house did a shitty job building the shower. They didn’t use the right drywall and didn’t seal things properly, so the water was leaking into that wall for decades until the wall rotted away. On the second floor, that was all sorts of fun. So we ripped the shower and tub out, and rebuilt the wall and the structure of the floor. Years later, that bathroom is still gutted, no proper flooring, the wall is still drywall, no tub, no shower. The floor has sagged and has distinct ridges and humps  in it that to my way of thinking, will make it impossible to put down a proper floor unless it is flexible linoleum or carpet. Ever heard of carpet in a bathroom?

If it weren’t for all of the lives that could be lost, I could almost hope for a tornado as it truly would solve many of my worries.

The 1967 Mustang wont start. It gets driven so rarely that the battery has died and wont hold a  charge. Should I replace that battery? What’s the point of spending the money for a car that goes nowhere? What the hell was I thinking when I bought that car? Keeping an antique car going is the hobby of either a very passionate person, or a wealthy one, and I, alas, am neither.





The nodules on my darn legs refuse to go away. Normally they last about 6  months and then go away for about a year. This round has been going on for about 18 months now with no sign of going away. Every time I stop taking steroids, the stuff comes back with a vengeance. I’ve taken more steroids over the last 18 months than a cyclist team prepping for the Tour De France. It makes it just a bit harder to rebuild an entire house when it hurts to walk, and when your brain is so soaked in steroids that you can’t fricken think straight and clear anymore. I wonder if I should try and increase my life insurance just in case? Is that taking money away from my family that could be better used, or is that putting money away for them if this shit turns out to be a symptom of something serious?

I wonder how my son William and his family are doing? Proud of him for making a family and taking care of them. Sort of wish he wasn’t in the Navy so we could be closer and be a part of their lives, but I’m also proud of him for doing the smart thing and staying in the Navy.

There is a large hole in my daughters bedroom ceiling where my poor wife fell through it trying to get Christmas stuff outta the attic while I was away. I wonder where that should be on my priority list.

My wife wants false and removable backs on the window boxes  . . .
Can I make my own screen door? If I try, what method/design should I use?
The side door to our garage is rotted out . . .
The bathroom is STILL gutted. . .
Would a tornado be a good thing or a bad one?  
The 1967 Mustang wont start . . .
I wonder how Billy is doing?
Is my sister all right?
My wife is kind of quiet lately. I wonder if we are OK?
My daughter is 14 now and starting to demand  some independence. This causes a bit of friction . . .
My 8 year old son spends all his time in front of the idiot box. His father is gone on the road all week and then spends every weekend working on the house and doing laundry. At 52 years old, I'm a bit old for teaching him to ride a bike and playing at the park. Boy did that kid get screwed . . .
I should call my mother. Nope, scratch that. Mom has been gone for years. You would think I'd have that through my thick head by now. 

My wife wants false and removable backs on the window boxes  . . .
Can I make my own screen door? If I try, what method/design should I use?
The side door to our garage is rotted out . . .
The bathroom is STILL gutted. . .
Would a tornado be a good thing or a bad one?  
The 1967 Mustang wont start . . .
I wonder how Billy is doing?
Is my sister all right?
My wife is kind of quiet lately . . .
My daughter is 14 now . . .
My 8 year old son spends all his time in front of the idiot box. . .

Over, and over, and over, and over . . .  

So yeah, here I sit at 430 AM writing my thoughts, slurping coffee, and wondering if I can listen to a record without waking up everyone?

6 comments:

  1. Kim -

    It looked like you needed a comment, so here goes....
    (Focus on #12 every time you feel frustrated by #1-#11)

    1. My wife wants false and removable backs on the window boxes . . .

    Do this. It's always a good thing to take the time to make a wife happy.

    2. Can I make my own screen door? If I try, what method/design should I use?

    Not worth your time. Buy one.

    3. The side door to our garage is rotted out . . .

    Replace the door and fix the problem. Do you have enough money to hire this project out?

    4. The bathroom is STILL gutted. . .

    This would really piss me off if I were living there. What is taking you so long to finish the job? Wait a minute - I can answer that question: LIFE!!!!! I hope you can take on this task soon or hire it out.

    5. Would a tornado be a good thing or a bad one?

    Do you have insurance that covers a tornado?

    6. The 1967 Mustang wont start . . .

    You can buy a cheap plug-in charger that many people use to keep their rarely used cars' batteries charged I hear that these can be found for under $50.

    7. I wonder how Billy is doing?

    Do you have a phone number? If so, call him! Maybe, use Skype to do a video call.

    8. Is my sister all right?

    Call and ask.

    9. My wife is kind of quiet lately . . .

    Is this a sign of her being upset? If so, ask her some questions. If not, engage her in conversation - she might be looking for you to start one.

    10. My daughter is 14 now . . .

    It's amazing how time flies.

    11. My 8 year old son spends all his time in front of the idiot box. . .

    Not good. Take him outdoors and do something with him. Take your wife along as well. If you can trust your daughter on her own, give her the choice of coming. If not, she comes along too. Making time for family is always good - even if other things get dropped.

    With all that being said, I neglected the last....

    12. His father is gone on the road all week and then spends every weekend working on the house and doing laundry. At 52 years old, I'm a bit old for teaching him to ride a bike and playing at the park. Boy did that kid get screwed . . .

    Here is the most important thing. He has a loving father - YOU! You bust your gut to take care of all of your responsibilities, and some of them get dropped. You are human, not a Superman. You are **** (family name dropped for privacy), and can still do things with him as time permits. Tell him and your family that you'd love to be doing more. Make sure they know how much you care.

    You will never be able to take care of every task on your to-do list. I learned that lesson years ago, seeing how my dad picked and chose what tasks he took on and what tasks he finished. None of us are perfect. And you've done a good job trying to figuratively and literally keep a roof over their heads.... So accept your humanity and make time to enjoy the time you have with your family!!!!

    M

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  2. Kimberly I am sorry you are feeling so overwhelmed right now. It can be so difficult juggling all our work, family, household, hobbies, and health interests! Throw a couple more logs in the fire and it feels like all of Paris is burning!

    ...ahhhh to be in Paris...

    It will be ok. You are a wonderful, creative, and resourceful woman. Take a deep breath and cleanse your mind.

    Some times it helps to write out your thoughts to help your mind let go. You are terrific at that. These things will be resolved and life will make sense once again.

    And maybe ask for help in those tasks you can. Maybe working on the car with your son, or the window boxes with your wife will help take them off the list, and enrich and strengthen those relationships and make wonderful memories.

    Love hearing of your adventures! But your health is most important. Be well, take care of yourself, and love deeply!

    Joanna

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  3. Wonderful comments - thank you both! :-)

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  4. Start by kissing the wife, ask her how she is really doing, and really listen to her when she talks. Give her your full undivided attention as long as she needs it. Then call the son and sister and make sure they're OK, give them a few minutes each, turn on the ears and listen to them. Combine a couple things: fix the window box shelves as the wife wants. Involve the 8 year old, it's time for him to learn how to help build stuff. Then do something with/for the wife that doesn't involve building stuff, crossdressing, or health issues. Next day, grab the kid, go to discount builders supply place, replace the screen door with something better premade. Next week, hire out the side door and bathroom floor. If you know how to do drywall, fix the bedroom ceiling. Get a Battery Tender (they sell them at Pep Boys, Advance, RockAuto.com, etc, $34.99) and keep the Mustang plugged in when you're not using it - I have one on my motorcycle and riding mower through the winter. Avoid the tornado if you can, make sure you're insured for it, since you are in Tejas. Find another doc and find out what's really wrong with that leg and make them fix it so you don't have to take the damn steroids. Good luck, balance is tough in our lives, isn't it?

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  5. Lots of good sound advise here, so I will not add any more just to say that sometimes life sucks and it can all begin to be overwhelming ~ I just hope and pray that it starts to feel better soon.

    You did confuse me a bit to start with, to me window boxes are the things we put on the sills to plant flowers in.

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  6. Hang in there Kimmer. You don't have to do everything today. Prioritize--save some of that fun for tomorrow!
    And you look just amazing. Sweet outfit--but --pants? I am so sad to hear about deaths in your family. Terrible sad news. Hopefully next year will be better.

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