You know, I
really couldn't tell you why, but for some reason I was a nervous wreck on my
trip to Detroit this time. I was just filled with anxiety and nerves, but I had
no reason or cause for the feeling. Well, no reason other than being a 48 year
old male trying to pass as a 29 year old woman in a crowded airport anyway.
I wanted to
cringe when the TSA inspector took my ID and ticket and then asked "Please
state your first and last name."
Austin is the only airport that asks you to do that it, and I have no
idea what the point is. Are they waiting for someone to say "my name is
Achmed the bomber" or something? In any case, it’s a bit embarrassing for
me because here I look like Kimberly
but have to tell him out loud that I
am Matt. Grrrr. . .
It's been a
while since my number came up, but as soon as I replied to the above question “My
name is Matt Huddle”, a female TSA agent stepped up in front of me.
"Ma'am,
you have been randomly selected for additional screening. If you will please
follow me?"
"Sure,"
I told her, "this is the only lottery that I actually win ya know?"
Well, a few
minutes later they had determined that I really wasn’t "Achmed the terrorist"
and I was on my way to the gate area, where I took out my book to pass the
time.
Not long
after, they announced that boarding would begin soon, and so I grabbed my
backpack and made my way to the boarding area where I stood around with about a
dozen others who were also waiting to board. I still couldn't shake that
nervous and jittery feeling, and much to my surprise I realized that I was so
nervous that it felt like one of my legs was shaking. I figured it was just nerves, and that it
probably wasn't obvious to anyone, but I was wrong. I glanced down at my leg
and discovered that it was visibly bouncing up and down, and entirely obvious
should anyone be looking at me.
"Well
this sucks!" I thought to myself. "It's gonna be real annoying if
this starts to happen often!" I
just placed more weight on the traitorous leg until its shaking wasn't so
glaringly obvious. The good news is that I calmed down for the rest of the day
and so the problem went away.
As my
connecting flight in Philly was taxing to the runway, the plane kind of jerked
a bit to the right, and being subject to the laws of physics, the poor flight
attendant standing in front of me went skidding to the left, almost falling
into my lap. The male flight attendant that was talking to her started laughing
once it was clear that the young lady was safe.
"You
know, she almost wound up in your lap!" He said with a laugh.
"That's
ok, I would have caught her! Well, I would have tried anyway!! I replied with a wink.
Later, as
the plane was taking off,I struck up a conversation with the hapless young
flight attendant. She was sitting in a uncomfortable looking chair right in
front of me that was facing backwards so that we were essentially sitting face
to face.
"So is
that seat as uncomfortable as it looks?" I asked.
"Oh,
yeah! It's straight up and down!" She said, with look of disgust on her
face.
"I kind
of figured since It looks like a couple of pieces of plywood with a little
padding attached to it."
"So are
you going home or going to work?" She asked me after a moment.
"Oh,
I'm definitely going to work. Ive gotta go and earn my paycheck. How about you
- are you headed home?"
"No, I’m
from right here in Philly."
"I've
only spent time in Philly once or twice, and as I recall, the hangover lasted
almost a week!" I replied with a laugh. Of course she had no way to know
it, but I was speaking of the night that I had hung out with Sophie in an
awesome piano bar. These days, I rarely stay out terribly late if I am not
assured of a day of rest to recover, but I was having so much fun that night
that I had overlooked my personal guidelines on the matter. All kidding and
attempts at humor aside, I had felt bad for a good three days after and have
sworn to never do that again!
It didn’t
take long to figure out that the guy seated next to me was not the overly
chatty type. I’d made a comment or two on the flight and was met with little
more than a grunted reply. Still, when the plane landed, I offered to hand him
his bag from the overhead bin since I had the aisle seat and there wasn’t
enough standing space left for him to get out of his seat. He proved that he
wasn’t stupid when he waited until his bag was firmly in his own hands before
he gave me a smug smile and said “Thank you sir!”
So help me
God, if he had said that before the bags changed hands, I’d have thrown it
right back in the bin. . .
I'm glad you recovered your equilibrium, and, it's a shame, but there will always be some jerks around
ReplyDeleteNo, actually he is "stupid", or maybe he was raised where he became or aspires to be a "bully." He was not comfortable with his own personality, that he had to lash out at someone, who is obviously more professional, courteous and understanding than he is. I say this because of his comment "after" you gave him his luggage. He was never taught that there are all types of people in this world, and diversity is a good thing. It's a shame that he is so unaccepting of people who are unique in there own way.
ReplyDeleteKim,
ReplyDeleteJust keep on keeping on. At some point the guy may realize that you were OK and perhaps the next time he encounters one of us his level of civility may be better.
Pat
Kim, I just found your blog today and I love it, I work for a software company and spend a great deal of time traveling also. I have traveled "pretty" a couple times and but reading your blog has been great it is so nice to hear from otheres like myself. Thanks.
ReplyDelete