So today I got up at 3:30AM so I could take my 8:20AM flight from Austin to Indianapolis “dressed”. I’ve already been notified by email that I’ve received free upgrades to first class and so life looks pretty good. Everything is running ahead of schedule and I’m on the way to the Airport at 5:30!
When I get to the Austin Airport, the first thing I see is that the security line is so long it’s unreal. Austin is a relatively small airport and very rarely has lines long enough to be concerned about. That’s OK though, ‘cause I always get to the airport about two hours before my flights just so that I don’t have to worry about little things like this, so I go to check in with Delta. I get to the counter and am informed that due to some sort of weather problem in Atlanta, my flight has been canceled. No worries though, “since you’re here early, we can put you on standby for a flight that leaves at 7AM.”
Sounded pretty good so I accepted and checked my bags – then things got interesting. I was there plenty early enough to make it through any line in time for my 8:20 flight, but now all of a sudden I’m in a huge line, it’s 6:30 AM, and I’m trying to catch a 7AM flight. As you can imagine I’m sweating bullets but finally get through the line.
As I get to the gate they are boarding the last group . . and there are no seats for stand by passengers. Delta moves me to American, who has a flight leaving Austin to DFW at 11AM . . . oh goody. THAT flight ends up delayed and doesn’t leave until 1130! By the time I get off the plane and on to the airports tram for my next gate it is 1PM. Guess what time my connection from DFW to Indianapolis was supposed to take off? You guessed it – 1 PM. So it is now past the time my flight from DFW was supposed to take off but I ran for it anyway just in case it was late too. Folks, if you have never had the pleasure of running through an airport in 3 inch stiletto heels, consider yourself lucky. It’s no where near as much fun as you might think watching Pamela Anderson do it on TV.
As I’m running/speed walking to the gate, knowing full well it should have left already, I’m starting to consider things.
- I’ve checked all my guy clothes.
- First flight canceled, failed to get standby for second flight, then moved to another airline. What’s the odds my bag with my clothes is actually going to get there?
- I have no guy clothes. What am I going to do if there are no more flights from DFW to Indy tonight and I have to stay the night in DFW?
- I don’t have all of my make up, so if I had to stay the night, catching a flight tomorrow “dressed” is going to present significant problems as well.
- What if I DO get to Indy and my clothes don’t?
“Damn, damn, damn – what have I gotten myself into?”
I get to the CSR at the gate and hand him my ticket and tell him:
“It looks like I’ve missed my connection. Can you get me another flight?”
He takes a look at my ticket and hands it back.
“You didn’t miss it yet, it was delayed 10 minutes and was gate changed to four gates down”.
I snatched my ticket and started running again. I got to the new gate just as they were removing the door stop to close the door. At this point they often wont let you board anyway, but they did let me on. I get to my seat, heart pounding, perspiration dripping down my face, and smelling like I’ve just come from the gym. I am the ultimate in grace, beauty, and olfactory sweetness – NOT. As I’m falling into my seat, almost over come with relief that I’m not going to have to figure out how to get along in DFW for the night with no car, hotel, or clothes, I note that the two seats next to mine have two teenage girls who are both just kind of staring at me. I gave them my best smile and said “Phew! I barely caught the plane!”
No joke, they both just stared at me for about 30 seconds (which is longer than you might think) as if trying to figure out if they really ought to be speaking with someone like me. Finally the one right next to me says “Yeah, I know the feeling. We’ve been traveling sine 3AM”. So there I sit, frantically fanning myself with my ticket, feeling terribly embarrassed about my appearance and the way I smell after that run across the airport when I hear angels singing. Yeah I know, y’all think I’m nuts but I swear I was sitting on this airplane, exhausted from anxiety and running, and with perspiration running down my nose, when I hear two beautiful voices singing in harmony. It took a moment for my brain to stop spinning enough for me to realize that it was the two girls sitting next to me. They had leaned toward each other, and with their heads touching they were softly singing in flawless harmony. I was just stunned! Anyone that has spent any time singing knows that there is a world of difference between two people just singing together, and two people singing harmony together. This was just awesome. They sang three of four songs and I finally got the chance to ask them about it. Turns out they are part of a church group traveling from California to Indianapolis to perform. Despite their initial hesitation, these two young ladies chatted with me off and on for the whole trip.
Oh, and when I got to Indianapolis? My bags were waiting for me at the Delta office and all was well with world.
Y’all might want to throw me outta the cross dresser’s club for this, but I don’t think I want to ever wear my pretty little three inch stiletto sandals for 16 hours again.
Ouch . . .