Thursday, July 30, 2009

Houston Texas


 
This weeks trip was to Houston where I got to work with NASA! Like I’ve said before, I’m a huge fan of the space program so I think this way cool! Being only a couple of hundred miles from home, this trip I just drove from home. Instead of my standard "before the trip" pics in the house, I stopped at a couple of places on the way to Houston to snap a few pics in the sunshine. 

On my way, I stopped in a small town called Elgin to get fuel, and the machine offered me a car wash. I looked at my truck which was still filthy from spending a week in the airports parking lot and decided that a car wash was a good idea. I then splurged and got the $8 super-duper-ultimate-deluxe car wash! At least that’s what I expected to get, but instead I got a message "See cashier for car wash". Well damn! I guess I can either keep a low profile and leave with out the car wash I paid for, or I can go give the attendant his very first conversation with a cross dresser. I decided that my principles weren’t gonna let me leave with out getting what I paid for, so I headed in. The cashier looks to be in his early sixties and he’s chatting with a county sheriff who apparently had parked on the other side of the building. You should have seen the look in their eyes as I entered.
"Excuse me, your machine said I have to see you for the car wash?" I asked with a smile on my face. The sheriff has not taken his eyes off me once from the moment I had walked in.
"Well, I’m sorry" he says "But the car wash doesn’t work."
"Ok, cool, can I have my money back then?" I replied after he made no other comment or move to get me a refund.
"Nope" he says, with the typical Texan one word type of answer. He then elaborates. "It didn’t charge your credit card for it." It never gave me a receipt so I have no way to check that until I get to my PC, so there’s no point in arguing.
"Ok, thank you!" I said with a wave and a smile, and turn for the door. My smile got a little bigger as I noticed that the sheriff was STILL staring at me.
I drove past a large Goodwill store in Houston that I have shopped at before and decided to take a walk through it. As I entered the store, I had just begun to notice it was uncomfortably warm in the store when the manager comes quickly walking up to me.
"I am so sorry about the air conditioning, but we have someone working on it right now! Would you believe that someone stole all of the copper plumbing from the air conditioning units on the roof?!" he says, clearly flabbergasted. I looked at him in shock.
"Are you kidding?! That sounds like an awful lot of work for a thief to go through!" I told him.
"I know!" he replied "If they devoted that much effort to an honest job they wouldn’t have to steal!"
Well, I found a couple of things, but nothing worth commenting on. Just things I’ll put away until I find their compliments to make an outfit.






Next, I stopped at the Galleria mall. I shouldn’t have bothered though, because this place is clearly geared toward folks with a hell of a lot more to spend than I can afford. This mall is full of shops with very well known and expensive names – places where blouses sell for over a thousand dollars (Neiman Marcus, Saks, etc)


This was just a travel day, so all I have to do is get checked in to the hotel and the rest of the day is mine! I pulled in to the Holiday Inn Express, grab my back pack and my bag, and head for the counter where I find two young ladies.
"Hello and welcome to the Holiday Inn! Are you checking in?" one of them asks me.
"You betcha!" I replied, handing her my credit card and my Platinum Holiday Inn priority club card. I see her eyebrows go up just a touch when she sees the name on my cards, but she’s a trooper and keeps going.
"Oh my God!" she exclaims while looking at her computer. Having no idea what has shocked her, this sent my heart in to my throat until she continues talking. "You must travel a LOT! I’ve never seen anyone with this many points!"
"Yepper, I stay at a Holiday Inn some where around the country two to three days every week!" I told her with a little laugh. At this point the other young lady behind the counter jumps in to the conversation.
"Do you like traveling that much?" She asks me.
"Yes and no," I told her "It’s a lot of time away from my family, but it does give me a lot of time to let my hair down!" I said with a smile, while fluffing the flippy part of my wig up with both hands. They both burst out laughing, and we made a little small talk. She complimented my necklace, I complimented her hair, etc, etc. The lady taking care of me hands my credit card back to me, and then immediately asks for it back, then she hands it back to me again, and again asks for it back.
"I’m so sorry! I just can’t seem to get it right!" she said with a laugh.
"No worries!" I told her with a smile, this time twirling a bit of my wig with a finger near my ear, making the universal ‘crazy’ sign. "I realize that sometimes I rattle people a little. It’s not a problem." That got another cute laugh from both of them.
I got all checked in to my room and then decided I might as well go see a movie. I found out that "The taking of Pelham 123" was going to start soon and so I headed out for it. Standing in line for the tickets, I’m behind a Hispanic family, mother and father, and three little girls. One is a toddler and being held by mommy, the others are maybe 6 and 8. The six year old is bored waiting and looking around, and then takes note of me three or four feet behind her. You gotta love little critters, they have no guile at all, and no filter in their brains about what might be polite or rude. This little girl is looking me over, clearly realizing something is not right, and then just like a light bulb going off, you can see her face light up as she figures it out. She very quickly turns her back to me, taps her big sister on the shoulder, and then whispers in her ear. With no hesitation at all, they both turn around and look directly at me. What can you do? I just smiled and winked at them both, and they both quickly turned around giggling. Finally they get their tickets and move out of the way, and I approach the kiosk. As I approach the window, the young lady inside looks at me and then gets a huge grin on her face.
‘Oh great!’ I think to myself ‘I must have that damn neon "Cross Dresser" sign on my forehead again. ‘


Next week I'm off to Peoria Illinois and Grand Cane Louisiana.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Baton Rouge

Baton Rouge 2009 07 21 044


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This week I was off to Baton Rouge Louisiana! This is one of the few places I’ve gone where the weather is every bit as hot, humid, and miserable as Texas. I’d much rather go someplace cool, like Detroit, or Ohio, or ANYWHERE else!
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Baton Rouge 2009 07 21 004

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Baton Rouge 2009 07 21 001
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I prefer longer, more modest skirts, but with the heat it’s just really not as much of an option as I’d like, so I went with a shorter purple skirt. I matched it with a cotton blouse I bought just recently, and while it does have a high neck, it’s a very thin material and so reasonable comfortable in the heat. I’ve flown on Delta and US Airways so much, that I am “elite” on both of their frequent flier programs. Since I’m elite with them, and would have been treated well and perhaps even flown first class, my travel coordinator booked me on American airlines instead.  Nah, I know that it just SEEMS like she does this, I’m pretty sure it’s not on purpose. . .
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As has become my habit, I stopped at the little coffee place inside the Austin airport for a chocolate mocha. I know they aren’t good for me, but hey, I like ‘em anyway. As the young man behind the counter is ringing me up, he asked quite nicely “So why do you fly so often?” Clearly I’d never been “passing” with him. Given the thousands of people he must deal with a week, there’s only one reasonable reason he would remember me. Still, he had gone out of his way to strike up a conversation with me. J
“It’s my job! When my companies shit breaks, I go fix it!” I told him with a laugh.
“That doesn’t sound like too bad a deal,” he said, still preparing my drink.
“Nah, it’s a great deal! I’m always going someplace new , so I’m never bored” I told him.
“And I guess it pays OK too?” he asks as he hands me my drink.
“Not too bad, it feeds the babies anyway, so I can’t complain much.”
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As I was boarding the plane, I couldn’t help noticing a man about my own age. I noticed him, because one entire side of his face was misshapen. It wasn’t clear if this was the result of trauma or if he had been born that way, but one side of his face almost looked melted and droopy. It sort of struck me that he and I had a little in common – no one was terribly eager to sit next to either of us in the waiting area. Once the plane landed in DFW where I was to catch my connection, he and I were both almost side by side heading for the tram when he glances over at me with a smile.
“I’ll bet your missing your tennis shoes  about now huh?” he asks, pointing at my heels.
“Nah, hell no!” I told him with a grin. “I LOVE my heels!”

Baton Rouge 2009 07 21 011


Baton Rouge 2009 07 21 030

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I got to Baton Rouge in the early afternoon, too early to call it a day, and so I hit up the mall not far from my hotel. I started in Dillards because I often find shoes on sale there that I like. One of the first things I noticed is that the place is empty – there is hardly anyone shopping there. I was walking through one clothing section where two SA’s were chatting with each other about 10 yards away from me. I glanced up to find that they were both looking at me, but thought nothing of it and kept walking. As I’m walking away from them I can hear the conversation.
“Umm umm umm,” says one to the other. “Some people just have something missing in their lives.”
“Umm hmm, you know it honey.” Replied the other one, with a sad tone of voice.
“You know, it must fill some hole or need in them,” continued the first philosopher.
I couldn’t hear the rest of the conversation, I just kept walking with a mixture of emotions.
Angry at them, though they hadn’t exactly been rude.
Embarrassed, because their conversation had shot my confidence all to hell, and I suddenly felt very much like a freak. I seriously considered turning around right there and going back to the car, but I chose not to give in to that and continued shopping the mall.
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I discovered there was a Casino not too far from me, on the Mississippi river and decided to go take a look. The parking was a bit confusing, but I figured it out, got parked, and then hiked all the way through this HUGE hotel to get to the walk way to the casino. On my way across the bridge, I noticed an old navel vessel on display – the USS KIDD. Thought it looked cool so I took a pic or two, and then continued on to the casino. 

Baton Rouge 2009 07 21 056

Baton Rouge 2009 07 21 059

I should have just gone and looked at the USS Kidd, because I lost $40 in less than an hour. Between my confidence at the mall getting all shot to hell, and then loosing $40, I headed for the hotel feeling a bit depressed.
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On this trip, I had brought a few outfits that I wanted to try on to see if they fit well and were flattering. First, I tried on a blue dress that I had bought years ago but never worn out. I had tried this on long ago, but at the time just couldn’t decide if I liked it or not. Guess what? I STILL can’t decide!
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.. ..Baton Rouge 2009 07 21 066
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Next, I tried on a red dress I just recently found and I think it looks great! Now my only question is, is this an appropriate dress for every day things, or is this a dress that can be worn in my travels? Not sure.
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.. ..Baton Rouge 2009 07 21 061
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The following day I very quickly resolved problems with two of my customers instruments, and was headed back to the hotel looking forward to an entire day to be free and “pretty”.  It didn’t work out that way though. Nope, instead, a few miles from my customer, the car started to run very poorly, and the air-conditioning was blowing hot air. A quick look at the gages showed the car was running VERY hot – just under the red line, so I pulled it over. As I eased it to the shoulder of the freeway it stalled out and the engine died. It’s noon time, in the summer, in Louisiana . . . to say it’s “hot” just doesn’t do it justice. I can see from my GPS that there is an exit not too far ahead, so I gave the car about 15 minutes, started it, and tried to make it to the exit. As I make the exit and start to brake for the intersection, the car again stalls out, this time with the needle well and truly into the red zone. I called Avis at about 12 noon, and they told me that they would have a tow truck and replacement car to me in no more than an hour and a half. It was sort of implied that this was an outside estimate and that I could expect the car much sooner than that. Given that the airport, where the replacement car was going to be provided from, was only 12 or 13 miles from me, I figured it would be more like 30 minutes. Well, 145 PM, height of summer, in Louisiana, in a dead car. I can either sit in the hot car, or I can stand outside and get the snot burnt outta me. Imagine my delight when an hour and half goes by with no tow truck. I called their 800 number again and was assured it was no more than 20 minutes away. 30 minutes later, I called them again, and was told again it would be no more than 20 minutes. Another 30 minutes later I call again, and am AGAIN told it will be no more than 20 minutes. No longer believing the folks on the 800 line, I called the Avis lot at the airport and she told me the replacement car had been ready and she had no idea why the tow truck driver hadn’t come for it yet. 30 minutes later I call again, and am told that the driver is 10 minutes from the airport to pick up the replacement car, and then 20 minutes from that point to get it to me. FOUR hours later the tow truck driver arrives with my replacement. He offers no apologies, he offers no excuses, he offers no explanation for why it took him four hours to bring a car 13 miles. I have been madder before, but not often. . .
I had my job accomplished early and should have had an entire day to enjoy Baton Rouge. Instead, I spent the entire afternoon  baking in a dead car in Louisiana. I’m not going anywhere tonight. Too damned angry and angsty to enjoy it anyway. 

Friday, July 17, 2009

Akron Ohio


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In recent months, my company has had to lay a lot of good people off as a result of the decline in the economy. Of course most companies use times like this to do a little cleaning up – a chance to get rid of people that maybe aren’t ideal, or maybe their positions are not as needed as they once were. All of that kind of thing was done at least three layoffs ago. The last few layoffs, my company had been forced to give up good people, solid people, people we really need. A few of these folks had more than 20 years with us and it breaks my heart just thinking about it.
So keeping the above in mind, you might understand why it scares the hell out of me that I haven’t had a service call in three weeks. Three weeks of sitting at my desk, waiting for calls to come in, desperately looking for something to do to be of value. Having just had a baby less than a month ago, I was terrified that I was about to loose my job. I was in this state of mind when I got the call from a customer in Ohio. I helped them determine that the problem was due to lack of maintenance and offered to walk them through the corrective action. Instead, they told me that they would rather pay for my services to come fix it for them. I was so relieved to get a request for service that I swear I had tears in my eyes while I took down her information.
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This service call was to Barberton Ohio, just outside of Akron. I had to get up at 245 to get ready for the flight, but that wasn’t much of a problem. With a new born baby, and a premature maybe at that, there hasn’t been any sleep in our home for almost a month anyway, so I was wide awake and watching TV with my wife when it came time to go.
.. ..Akron Ohio 2009 07 14 052
I wore a new peasant skirt and top that I had recently found. I know this skirt looks a lot like another I have, but it’s browner colors. I like these light and floaty peasant skirts because the swirl and flow around your legs as you walk. It’s almost like being wrapped in a cloud. I also were a new pair of sandals I had just purchased, and this turned out to be a serious mistake. You see, they look great, but the strappy design kept resulting in my little toes sneaking out and getting rubbed between a couple of the straps. So while they were comfortable walking around the house for a few moments, they turned in to a nightmare over the long haul.
Well, apparently I’m not the only one that thinks these floaty skirts are cute, because I had no less than four women actually stop me when walking by to tell me how pretty they thought it was. It’s almost depressing – women don’t pay the slightest attention to me unless I’m wearing a skirt or heels.
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I got to the Akron area around mid afternoon and decided to look for some Goodwill stores to go bargain hunting. I found a nice one and went through all of the racks. I found a few cute tops, and then moved to the dresses where I found a treasure! On the rack marked $10, I found a $400 dollar gown that I think might be awesome for the Southern Comfort Conference! I  tried my goodies on in the dressing room and then headed for the check out. At the check out, there was a woman running the register, and a man in his late 50’s doing the bagging. The entire time that I stood in line, and then while paying for my items, the guy doing the bagging stared at me. I don’t mean that he looked at me a repeatedly, I don’t meant that he was sneaking peaks, I mean he flat out stared at me. As the lady was ringing up my things, it got on my nerves, so I finally just stared back at him. “BEEP BEEP BEEP” goes the register while she rang up my things, and the whole time, the  bagger and I are just staring in each others eyes. At last the transaction is done, and the cashier hands me my change and with a honestly friendly attitude, she wishes me a nice day. I return her pleasantry and turn to the bagger to collect my things. He gives me one of the creepiest smiles I’ve ever seen. His lips were in the shape of a smile, but his eyes said something entirely different.
“You have a great day buddy” he tells me, putting the emphasis on the word “buddy” just to be sure that I, and everyone behind me, would know that he was damn clever that he knew what I was. I considered my possible responses to this asshole, and chose to just wink at him.
“And I hope you have a fantastic day!” I said while taking my bag from his hands.
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When I got to the hotel, I tried on the gown I had bought to see how it looked. There are only two major drawback to the thing:
1-     it is designed for a woman. Yeah, yeah, stop laughing. What I mean to say, is that it pretty well requires breasts to hold it up properly, and dI on’t have ‘em!
2-     The laces in the back are hard as hell to do by yourself! It took me about an hour to get the damn thing laced up, and I twisting and turning like a contortionist.
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Anyway, I think I like this one and suspect this is what I’ll wear to SCC.
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The next day was a long one. The customer had only told me about one machine, but it turns out she had three of them and she wanted me to evaluate all of them. They had a host of issues to deal with and I didn’t get done with her until after 7PM. Far too late to go do anything. The bad news is, one of these machines had just been returned from our factory service center. I offered to help set it up as a courtesy, so imagine my shock when the damn thing didn’t work! I had to change my flights so that I could return the following morning to work on it. A month or two ago, I had failed to fix this very same instrument for the very same symptoms, and so I didn’t have much hope I was going to succeed.
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The following day I returned and fairly early on determined that the instrument still had the same problem I’d had it sent to the factory for a few months ago, and it’s a problem that can not be resolved in the field. I was back in my hotel by noon and decided to go see a movie or two!
.. ..Akron Ohio 2009 07 16 007

Akron Ohio 2009 07 16 008

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This time I wore something a bit new for me. The skirt is kind of a thin satin material. The top is a very thin material as well, and it’s fabric is hard to describe. On the hanger it looks plain, even unflattering, but the way it’s made it looks terrific when you put it on. Being such thin materials, it’s also considerably cooler in the heat than most of my outfits.
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When I got to the theater, you could tell by the grins that the kids at the ticket and food counter knew exactly what I was, but that’s OK because I’m long past worrying about that. They were grinning from ear to ear, but they treated me well, and that’s what counts.
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I first went to see the new Star Trek movie again. I’d seen this before with my family but had been kind of undecided as to if I liked it or not, so I decided to watch it again. For the most part I like it, but there are things that irritate me. Anyone that has read much Star Trek knows that the Enterprise and its sisters were built in orbit, but this movie shows this class of ship being built on the ground. The ship itself looks nothing like the original Enterprise. There is a weak excuse for this, but I can’t offer it here with out being a spoiler though. OK, so it’s nit picky, but it irritates me. The good news is that they have finagled it so that the entire series can take off again, and take off free of any restrictions that might have been forced on them to stay true to the original series. So, exciting things coming in the Star Trek world.
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Next I saw the Harry Potter movie, the Half Blood Prince. Ehhh . . . I can take it or leave it. It’s ending was unsatisfying and left me irritated. I almost felt like the movie was a mere place holder – a necessary step to get from the last episode to the next, but not a real awesome movie in it’s own right. It was a nice way to spend a couple of hours, but it’s not a movie that will ever make my top ten list.
After the movie, I was going to go to a club called Lydia’s because they were supposed to have jam session there. Being a guitar player myself, I love jam sessions. Well, I drove by the place, and it just didn’t fill me with confidence and so I chose not to enter it. Instead, I headed back to the hotel to call it a night. I had decided I was going to fly home pretty and just clean up and change in the Austin airport, but the more I thought about it, the more it just sounded like work. There was no point to going through all of that effort and I wasn’t going to enjoy it, so I just flew home drab.

Sunday, July 5, 2009

Told the Aunt and Uncle


So this fourth of July we had my wifes aunt and uncle came up from San Antonio to celebrate with us. These folks had lives very much like my wife and I. They had retired from the US Army, we all had similar pasts, similar histories, and so we get along very well and generally have a good time together. Well, about a year ago we spent thanksgiving at their home and toward the end of the evening things got a little bit uncomfortable. After a bit of prompting, my wifes aunt finally came out with it - she had been told by my mother in law that I was a cross dresser. My mother in law had in fact stayed with us for several months a few years back, but I had been very careful to be sure she had never seen anything to do with cross dressing, and to this day I still have no idea what she may have seen. Obviously she HAD seen something or this conversation wouldn't be taking place. Personally I am not at all ashamed of who or what I am, but I have a wife and I have children, so the decision and the consequences are not mine alone. I glanced at my wife hoping for some indication if it was all right with her for me to talk to them. I've been married 22 years now, and after that much time with someone, words aren't always needed. In this case, the look in my wifes eyes made it clear she did NOT want me to share everything with them. Even at that, had they point blank asked me, I would have told them the truth. But given my wifes look, and the fact that they had not bluntly asked me, I did not offer anything up.
Well, since that dinner a year or so ago, they had brought it up two or three more times. Each time I wanted to trust them, but didn't want to go against my wifes wishes. These are really good people. These are the kind of folks that would literally give you the shirt off of their backs, or the last slice of bread they owned if you were hungry, and I was fairly sure they would be all right with it. Once again though, my wife feared that this would change things, that it would change the way they feel about us, that it would change the way they treat us, and that they may be uncomfortable around me. It's not an unfounded fear - this HAS happened to us before.
Well, on the fourth they brought it up again. I told them how disappointed I was that my Mother in law and I had started off great friends, but some where along the line she had decided she didn't care for me. My aunt looked right at me and said "It was the cross dressing." She said it very calmly, simply stating the fact while not endorsing or agreeing with my mother in laws attitude or actions. I'd have to be honest, I wasn't really shocked it had been brought up again - I had pretty much expected it to since it seems to come up pretty much every time we met these days. I excused myself and went inside to speak with my wife who was feeding our newborn.
"Babe, this is ridicules. It's been brought up again, this time simply stated as a fact. They are not just hinting anymore. Can I be honest with them?"  My wife looked at me long and hard.
"I don't want it to change things Matthew. If you tell them, and it changes things, I'm going to be very upset with you!" she said.
"Clearly they have made up their minds that I am. Now our only choice is, do you want them to base their opinions on what your mother may have told them, or on the truth? We can only imagine the conclusions they might draw on their own if we don't give them the truth."
"Go ahead," she said "but if it changes things I'm going to be mad as hell at you!"

So, I walked back out to the porch where we had been chatting.
"Well guys, I've got to be honest with you, I have no idea what she could have seen or when she saw it, but she didn't lie to you, I AM a cross dresser."  They both looked at me like 'yeah, so what?'  Clearly this wasn't a huge surprise to them.  Her uncle looked at me and said "We really don't give a shit what you guys do in your bedroom."  I started to laugh and assured them that what I was had nothing to do with the bedroom. My wife has absolutely no interest in me that way while cross dressed. It was VERY late, we had all drank more than our fair share, so we didn't spend as long as you might expect chatting about it. I did try to explain that it had little or nothing to do with sex, and far more to do with the fact that every man I had ever met growing up had been garbage. My own father spent all of his time drunk, beating both, his many wives and his children. The many step fathers that followed him in my life weren't a hell of a lot better. On the flip side, every woman in my life was strong, proud, and responsible. More or less, I had grown up feeling ashamed to be male and wishing that I was more like my grandmother, mother, and my big sister. I showed them a couple of pics so that they wouldn't have nightmares trying to picture what I looked like, and we spoke just a little longer about it.  They promised me that it means very little to them, and that our relationship was 100 safe. Hopefully that opinion will remain when they get back home, because even though it was clear they knew, I will never forgive myself if I've ruined our friendship. I think we're good though. It's funny, if you want to stick with the stereo types, you might hesitate to tell this to a retired NCO, thinking there was not way that they would accept this from someone. On the contrary though, after a life in the military, you see many cultures, many people, and I think learn some tolerance for people that might be a bit different. Of course, it doesn't hurt at all that my aunt and uncle are just cool as hell either!

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Creepy in Cincy


Cincinnati Ohio 2009 06 15 003 

Cincinnati Ohio 2009 06 15 001 

        
Wow, I am so tired. I think my no sleep, and always on the go last couple of weeks is catching up with me, ‘cause I am just plain tired. This weeks trip was to provide training and do some maintenance on some of our equipment at the University of Cincinnati. My flight didn’t leave until 10AM, so at least this time I didn’t have to get up at 3AM. I wore a new skirt I had bought a month or so ago. 
 Cincinnati Ohio 2009 06 15 005
 
 
You could call this skirt a “Stealth Bad Girl” skirt, because it looks quite prim and proper on the hanger, and even on me while I’m standing. Sitting down however is a whole different ball of wax. This skirt has slits in both, the front and the back, and when you sit, the slit in the front pulls open to show a great deal more of my legs than I am comfortable with. I spent my entire day tugging it down and closed again. Other than that, I thought it was cute enough. I think I’ll keep it, but reserve it for going out in the evening when I want to be a little sexy, not for everyday wear.
 
Today was a “no confidence” day – I just felt like I was ugly and like everyone seeing me would know exactly what I was. Even before I left the house, I was thinking about taking a shower and going male, but there wasn’t time. I spent the entire day feeling like a man in a skirt, and feeling like people were staring at me. Oh well . . .
So, on this day where I feel a serious lack of confidence, I arrive in Cincinnati . . . and my luggage doesn’t. . . .
With all of the travel I do, this is only the third time my baggage has not arrived. Twice I was flying US Airways (including this trip), and once on a United flight. At least when United blew it, they could tell me where my bags were. They had sent them on a tour of the South Eastern US when I needed them in New York state, but at least they KNEW where the bags were. Both times with US Airways, they could not tell me anything about my bags. They had no idea if they had ever left Austin, and of course had no idea where they were. Now having slammed them for that, I would have to admit that the gentlemen helping me was very friendly, concerned, and professional, and did his very best. He called me several times to let me know what the status was, called me when they found them, and called me when they were on a truck to be delivered. So yeah, they lost them, but they bent over backwards to find them and get them to me, and they did it with a friendly and professional attitude. Considering that they were dealing with a cross dresser, something that they probably don’t encounter every day, I give them an A+.

 Cincinnati Ohio 2009 06 15 007

Cincinnati Ohio 2009 06 15 008
I arrived at the hotel, still feeling ugly and unpassable, more than a little tired from a long day, and very stressed over the entire luggage thing. Moving more or less on auto pilot, I approached the front desk and realize that the two women working the counter are absolutely stunning. They were both picture perfect Barbie Doll blondes, with the faces and figures of models or movies stars. For just a moment, I feel an almost physical pain in my chest, kind of a longing that is hard to describe. Here I felt like an ugly and tired old man in a skirt, and I was speaking with the exact opposite - a drop dead gorgeous young lady. I know it makes no sense to say you miss something you never had, but sometimes I sort of feel like I was robbed, like I should have had a life like hers, like it’s just not fair that I didn’t get it. I know it'snot rational, and that there’s nothing redeeming about envy, but there you have it.
Despite her young years, the goddess that took care of me never once hesitated. She gave me a huge smile and treated me as she would have treated any woman, and shortly I was on the way to my room. So there I am in my hotel room, dressed entirely as a female, I don’t have a stitch of male clothing, don’t know if my luggage will be found or not, and I’ve got to go to work tomorrow morning.
Cincinnati Ohio 2009 06 15 012 
 
Nothing else for it I guess, and in a complete turn about from the normal state of affairs, Kimberly went shopping for Matthew! Eighty dollars later, I left Target with a complete male outfit, grumbling to myself the entire time that this money would have bought a fairly good pair of heels! Still wearing my stealth bad girl skirt, I stopped into a Italian restaurant called “Carlos” and had dinner. Again, I felt like everyone that interacted with me knew instantly what I was, but I was just too damn tired to care.
After dinner, I had sort of caught my second wind, and decided to head to a club called “On Broadway” that I’d found Online. It was supposed to do karaoke Monday nights, and now that I had male clothing for my work day I was starting to relax a little, so I gave it a shot. I arrived at about 9PM and was treated like gold. The bartender and a couple of customers struck up conversations with me. The only down side is that the karaoke didn’t start until “10’ish” which means more like 1030PM, and I just wasn’t up to hanging that late tonight, and so I returned to the hotel. Around 230AM I got the call that my bags had been delivered to the hotel. Wow, I could have saved my eighty dollars if I'd just waited, but I just couldn’t afford to run the risk.

Cincinnati Ohio 2009 06 16 014


Cincinnati Ohio 2009 06 16 026


The next day was a pretty exhausting one as well. I was here to work on our Residual Gas Analyzers (Mass Spectroscope), and while I was once pretty good with these things, I haven’t actually laid hands on one in years. This left me more than a little nervous going into this. When I arrived and was escorted into their lab, I was gratified to see equipment from my company everywhere. Their labs were like show cases for my company, with our products on every shelf, bench, and system I could see. With the economy being what it is these days, it’s nice to see  to see this. I was able to repair both of their systems, upgrade their software, provide training on how to use it, and also addressed a whole host of other problems they were having. I gave them three hours of my time for free, because lets face it, with our products everywhere, they had clearly done well by my company and so I went the extra mile for them. By the time I headed back to the hotel, it was 6PM, I had 40 minutes of driving ahead of me, and I was just plain tired. When I checked and found that my flight home left at 630AM, I decided then and there that Kimberly was not coming out to play tonight. I took some pics of the hotel area for my blog and then asked the blonde super models at the counter if I might take their picture for my blog as well. They both looked very embarrassed and told me they would prefer not. I was too tired to try to charm them in to it, and so feeling disappointed, I returned to my room. I know that even in boy mode, sometimes I must give off signals that say “Hey, I’m different”, and so between that and my being so damned tired, I wonder if I just came off to the girls at the counter as creepy? Great – half the time I’m a cross dresser, and the other half of the time I’m creepy . . .    I wonder if I should have just taken their picture with out asking, but somehow it just seemed rude. . .

Cincinnati Ohio 2009 06 16 047

Cincinnati Ohio 2009 06 16 044

Cincinnati Ohio 2009 06 16 046

Friday, June 12, 2009

The Presidential Suite


 
I’m off to Detroit yet again! The instrument I work on the most often uses a Infrared detector that requires liquid nitrogen to keep it cold. That container that holds the detector and the liquid nitrogen is a glorified thermos, with vacuum insulation that leaks over time, and so it requires periodic servicing to restore that vacuum insulation. This trip was to re-install one of these detectors that had just been serviced so it was pretty much a milk run for me. The bad news is, it was a fairly early flight and so I had to get up at 3AM to get ready in time. I seriously considered just making the trip the good old fashioned way (as a guy) so that I wouldn’t have to get up so early but I just couldn’t bring myself to do it.

Detroit 2009 06 09 003

I wore my floaty multi-color peasant skirt and a new green top I had just purchased. I also wore the new pair of darn brown Mary-Jane’s I bought last week at DSW. This skirt is really neat, but you have to see it in motion to appreciate it. It’s made of such light fabric that it swirls around your legs like ocean waves when you walk. A VERY cool effect.
The green top is just a little out of my ordinary. I typically stick to relatively thick fabrics because I like the way they drape on me, but the drawback is that they are hot. This top is a rare foray into lighter and cooler fabrics so that I don’t die of heat stroke.
 
On the flight from Austin to Charlotte, I sat next to a large African American woman. Shortly after taking off, the flight attendant, a woman in her late 50’s I’d guess, came through the plane pushing the beverage cart. Apparently she was having a bad day, because she was curt to the point of being rude. She looked at the large woman next to me, who was sitting along the isle, and pretty much demanded she move her arm out of the way of the cart.
“Excuse me” says the flight attendant, with no hint of a smile, and in a tone of voice making it clear that this was really more of a demand than a request. Apparently the woman didn’t move fast enough to suite the flight attendant and so she pushed the cart on by, shoving the woman’s arm aside in the process. The lady looked over at me with kind of a bemused “Did you see that?” look.
“Well, she’s just a little ball of sunshine, isn’t she?” I told the woman. She started to laugh, and that sort of set the tone for the rest of the flight. Later in the flight, that same attendant pushed her again, this time almost knocking the book out of her hands.
“You know, maybe you should shove her back!” I told her, and then, just to be sure she realized it was a joke, I added “Don’t worry, I’ll come visit you in jail. I promise!” 
That once again got a good laugh from her. She turned out to be quite friendly and so we chatted off and on for most of the flight. When we landed I asked her of she was gonna shove the flight attendant on the way out the door, and she just laughed and told me she was considering it.  J
 
The layover in Charlotte was a pain because they had these three people trying to  shove their credit card applications down peoples throat. The annoying thing was, these three were doing it in such a way that the people they were stopping thought it was the airline stopping them for official business. This man would stand in the hall, and with an authoritative tone of voice he would stop people.
“Excuse me, are you flying US Airways?”  Usually this would get a startled look from the individual stopped, and then they would agree that they were, and the salesman would continue. “Step over here please.”  You see the thing is, he didn’t phrase it as a request, he phrased it in such a way, and with a tone of authority, that people were assuming he was an airline representative pulling them aside for a search or some other official reason. Then of course he tried to sell them on the credit card. He would yell after people who were walking by, calling to them three of four times, still sounding like an airline rep.
“Ma’am” he would loudly say. “Ma’am?!” he would repeat as she kept walking, and then for the few people that realized he was not with the airline and so didn’t stop, he would once more loudly call to them. “Ma’am?!” Most obnoxious! Watching them stop countless people this way, clearly trying to give the impression that they had no choice but to stop, just really pissed me off. I’m considering writing a letter to the airline to complain about it.
 
Get to Detroit and get my bags with no excitement at all, and make my way to the rental car shuttle bus. I arrived just as the Avis bus did, and for the first two or three minutes I was the only passenger on the bus. As the door opens, the driver walks up to help with my bags, and he is none other than the guy that was picking on me a week ago at the Avis lot. At the time, he was giving me hell for lifting my bags easily into the trunk when he could hardly lift them at all.
“Hey, I know you!” he said with a laugh, while grabbing my tool box. While he took that, I lifted my large suite case onto the bus, where he then grabbed it, and with some effort, slid it under the rack.
“Damn you sure made that look easy, that bag is heavy!” he said with a shit eating grin.
“Ah hell, here we go again!” I replied with a laugh. He kept looking at me, then tried to give me an innocent look.
“What do you mean?” he asked, his words dripping with niceness.
“I mean you giving me hell for being able to lift heavy bags.” I told him, with my own shit eating grin. I sat by the door near my bags while he moved back to the front. As he sat down, he turned around in the seat and patted the bench close to him.
“Why don’t you move up here?” he asked.
“Nah, that’s all right.” I told him, now getting kind of confused as to if this guy is really trying to be nice or an asshole.
“Well why not?” he asked. "We can talk!”
“All right, I’ll bite. What are we gonna talk about?”  I asked him.
Well, it turns out he is a retired corrections officer just moved here from Arizona and I actually ended up enjoying talking to him. I suspect he’d have eaten me alive if I’d been timid, but I think he sort of respected me for handing his shit right back to him.
Well, as it turns out, they didn’t have a car assigned to me when I got there so I had to go to the counter and get it. A short while later, I was sitting in my rental car and setting up my GPS when this cute lady taps on the closed drivers window. I see she is wearing an Avis tag, and wondering what was wrong, I lowered the window to talk to her, and she leaned in close.
“I just had to tell you that your skirt is beautiful!” she says with a great big smile.
“It’s so cool of you to say so!” I told her. “It’s definitely one of my favorites!”.
“Well you have a great day!” she said with a smile, slapping her hand on the top of the door and walking away. Grinning like an idiot, I proceeded to the guard gate where they check your contract and drivers license. As I pull up, I notice there are two female guards in the shack, and they both step out. I recall both of them from prior trips, but they have not been on duty the last couple of trips I’d made here.
“Hey there!” says one of them, “It’s been a while! How have you been?” Before I can respond, the other one speaks up.
“Yeah, we haven’t seen you in a while. How are you?” she also asks.
"I just couldn’t be any gooder, thanks for asking! How are y’all doing?” I asked them. We chatted back and forth for a few minutes, until another car pulled up behind me. I headed off for my hotel kind of bemused that all of these people had noted and remembered my prior visits. When you think of how many hundreds, or maybe even thousands of people they deal with every single day, it really is making sort of a statement that they noted and  remembered me.
 
I got to the holiday Inn in Allen Park and made my way up to the desk where I could see one of the ladies I had often chatted with, and what appeared to be her manager standing next to her. As I walked up to the desk, the young lady sort of tilted her head to the side, and with a grin she starts to speak.
“Why do you even bother going home?” she asked me. That one busted me up, so we all laughed.
“You know, I was kind of wondering that myself!” I replied. At that the point, the phone range, she grabbed the call, and the manager took care of checking me in.
“Well, I see you’re a platinum member! Thank you so much for staying with the Holiday Inn. I’ll tell you what, why don’t we upgrade you to a better room?” he asks.
“That’s OK, I wont be spending much time in it anyway. As long as it’s got a bed and an air conditioner I’m good to go!” I told him.
“Well, I can guarantee you that much.” He says with a smile. “We’ve got a suite on the first floor, will that do?” he asks.
“Sure, that will be just fine.” I replied. I handed over my credit card, signed the contract, and headed for my room. When I opened the door my jaw almost hit the ground. The room was HUGE. This single room was bigger than my living room, kitchen, and dining room combined.

Detroit 2009 06 09 006

I closed the door and headed back to the front desk. The lady I typically deal with was off the phone now so I approached her.
“Umm, I think y’all have made a mistake.” I told her.
“Oh no, what’s wrong?” she asks, clearly concerned.
“Well apparently y’all think I’m a senator or the President of the United States. I’m not, I’m just a traveling red neck and don’t need a room quite so grand!”   She just laughed and told me to enjoy it. She then explained that it had actually been a conference room that they had converted. I returned to the room, and heard the sound of the door closing echo off of the walls of the huge room.. I peeked into the bathroom to discover it was damn near as large as the room itself. Laughing at the twists and turns in my life that took me from a poor desert rat to standing in a uber expensive hotel room as Kimberly, I unpacked my things and confirmed that I had all of the appropriate male clothing with me for tomorrows work day.

Detroit 2009 06 09 019

Detroit 2009 06 09 013

I had a couple of hours before I was supposed to meet Jennifer Nelson of the Vanity Club, and so I decided to go shopping. I looked through the shoes in Macy’s but didn’t find anything I couldn’t live with out and so I made my way toward the mall proper. Of course they have it set up so that you have to walk the gauntlet of makeup and perfume counters to get out of Macy’s, and as I walked through, one of the makeup SA’s speaks to me as I walk by.
“Would you care to try some of our makeup? I could give you a little makeover?” she says, pointing at her stool with an eyebrow raised in question. I stopped for a moment and thought about. What an intriguing idea, to sit in an upscale department store and get a makeover just like the countless women I have envied in the past. The problem is, doing a makeover for a TG requires a whole different set of skills than working on your average woman. I have to wear fairly heavy foundation and she would have to wipe most of it off to get a fresh start, I wasn’t willing to take the risk right before meeting Jennifer for dinner.
“You know, that’s a really neat offer, but no than you!” I told her. She must have seen the smoke rising from my ears while I was trying to makeup my mind though, because she gave me one more chance.
“Are you sure?” she asked again.
“Yep, but thank you so much for the offer!”
As I was walking off it occurred to me – absolutely everything had gone my way since I arrived in Detroit this trip. Every one had stopped to chat with me and be nice, several people had gone out of their way to kid with me, and I’d just been offered a makeover. If I were smart, I’d call dinner off and head to the Casino to cash in on the days apparent good fortune! Shopped a bit more, and them headed for Ann Arbor where I was to meet Jennifer for dinner at Gratzi’s. Shortly before I got there, I received a call from her telling me that she was there, and would wait for me in the bar. She also told me that there was a parking garage behind the restaurant, and so as I approached, this is what I was looking for. I did find a parking garage, but it was a good three blocks away, so I wasn’t sure if it was the one she had referred to. I gave her a call and she described the garage to a “T” so I pulled in, parked, and made the three block walk to the restaurant. The walk from the parking garage to Gratzi (the restaurant), required me to walk through about half a dozen sidewalk café’s, and as far as I could tell no one looked twice at me, and I actually enjoyed the walk. As I approached Gratzi’s, I just happened to glance in the right direction and noted that there was a parking garage much closer than the one I had used. I just hadn’t seen it while driving and trying not to kill anyone looking around. Oh well, I guess it’s a good thing that I had enjoyed the walk!

Detroit 2009 06 09 021

As I entered Gratzi’s, I could see Jennifer sitting at the bar, and she looked exactly like her picture – cute! We hugged in greeting, with me desperately tying to make sure I didn’t get my foundation all over her outfit, and then sat and chatted for an hour or so. Jennifer has some of the brightest eyes I’ve seen, and when you look in to them, you just know that your talking to a fairly intense person. We chatted about this and that, from shoes to careers, to hobbies. She specifically asked me not to mention or even hint at what she had done in her career, but lets just say that it was interesting and successful.

Detroit 2009 06 09 024

At one point in our discussion, Jennifer very casually mentioned that she had graduated from MIT. It didn’t really occur to me at the moment, but later on as I was considering the night, it struck me that a great deal of the TG’s I had met in my travels, had been very successful. Jennifer had graduated from MIT and her career had been highly successful and of a high profile. I have met popular musicians, airline pilots, several lawyers, PHDs, and university professors. In the midst of all of these successful and well educated people, along comes Kimberly the dessert rat. I couldn’t bare staying in school long enough to graduate and so had taken my GED and joined the Army at 17. The only college I have was in classes and on topics that had interested me. All of my technical education was through the US Army, and while that was quite a lot of high quality technical training, it was a long way from being a well rounded education. As silly as it sounds, sometimes I feel like “The Little Queen That Couldn’t”, or perhaps “The Little Queen That Didn’t”. Funny how those old insecurities still pop up every once in a while!
Anyway, I had a very pleasant night speaking with Jennifer. An interesting person, with  interesting stories to tell, and it made for an enjoyable night.
 
Detroit 2009 06 09 027

When I got back to the hotel, I tried on a gown I am considering for the Southern Comfort Conference this year. This was my first chance to try it on while having hair and makeup, and I wanted to see what the whole package would look like. Even after seeing it, I’m still not sure it’s “the” gown. I am considering wearing the same gown I wore last year. That gown was awesome, and I felt gorgeous in it, but I’m just not sure about the social implications of wearing the same gown twice in a row. What do y’all think – new gown that is just “ehh” or same gown I wore last year that rocked?
 
 SCC 050 Cropped
 
 

The next day it was time to pay the piper and go earn my paycheck. This instrument needed a lot of work, but it was all pretty standard stuff that I was more than familiar and comfortable with. So, a lot of work to do, but none of it particularly challenging. The really cool thing is, when I was done, the customer sent an email to my manager telling him that every instrument I worked on performed better than they had when brand new from the factory, and making it clear he preferred my company send me when his equipment needed support. Things being what they are with jobs and the economy, this was a very nice gesture and very much appreciated by me. Of course the first thing my manager asked was “How much did you pay him to write that email?”  He thinks he’s being funny, but on my next visit I intend to get him a steak lunch!

 Detroit 2009 06 10 004


Detroit 2009 06 10 013
Got back to the hotel and tried on a new outfit I recently purchased. This one is a very bright orange and I wasn’t at all sure that it would suite me. I think these bright, almost neon colors, typically flatter women with darker skin tones. You know, people that are capable of getting an actual tan, unlike my own Casper-the-ghost white self. I got dressed and then reviewed my appearance in the mirror and tried to decide if the outfit worked for me or not. Ultimately I never did decide if it flattered me or not, but I didn’t hate it, so I moved forward with it. I figured ‘what the heck, gotta step outta your comfort zone every once in a while!’  Just to really push my luck, I also wore my white shoes with 4 or 4.5 inch heels. I don’t wear heels that high most of the time, so I was probably a little less than graceful when I walked.
 
Detroit 2009 06 10 015

I returned to “SoHo” in Ferndale, because they have karaoke on Wednesday nights. I had done this on my last visit to the area and they had had some fairly good singers, and music that I enjoyed, so what the heck. As soon as I entered the place and took a seat, I had two people ask me if I wanted a kitten. Not only did they ask, but they really put on the hard sell, but despite the kittens being adorable, it just wasn’t an option. The man sitting next to me was holding one of them in his arms, the cat flat on it’s back, paws up in the air, and it was sound asleep! The little critter looked exactly like the cat that I just lost a few months ago, and had this been in Austin where I would only have to throw it in the car and take it home, I’d probably have taken it.
 
Detroit 2009 06 10 018

Spent the night singing, and listening to others sing, and then headed for the hotel. By the time I got my makeup washed off and everything packed it was quite late and so I only got a whopping 2.5 hours of sleep before getting up and heading for the airport. I was sitting in the front of the plane on my connection from Charlotte to Austin and watching all of the people entering the aircraft when I noticed that one of them looked familiar. It took me a second to figure it out, but it was the large woman that I had sat next to a couple of days ago on my trip to Detroit. You know, the lady that the flight attendant was kind of rude to? Before I stopped to think about it, I started speaking to her.
“Hey, aren’t you the lady I sat next to on the flight here?” She got this real confused look on her face and then it finally struck me what I had done. On the flight next to her, I was Kim, and right now I was Matt. Well, too late to worry about that now, so I just plowed forward.
“You know, when the flight attendant kept shoving you?” I asked, giving her a wink. That’s when it clicked for her and she got a huge smile.
“Honey, she was so rude I wanted to just strangle her!” she said, placing her hand on my shoulder as she walked by.
“Well I wish you better luck on this flight then!” I told her. We both laughed. She continued on to her seat, and I sat there thinking that I must be getting old to be making such stupid mistakes as to unthinkingly out myself to someone. It’s not that I minded her knowing. After all, I didn’t know this woman and her knowing would never effect my life. What really concerned me was that I had done it with out thinking.
 

Saturday, June 6, 2009

Fremont in Northern California


Current mood:tired
This weeks trip was to Fremont in Northern California. We have engineers in San Jose that would normally service and install our equipment here, but the local guy that used to work on this product line here was laid off a month or so ago, and those who are left here have had no training on this tool. The kicker is that I haven’t worked on one of these systems myself in over a year, and this system has new generators in it that I have never even seen before myself. It makes me more than a little nervous to have to install and train customers on equipment that I’ve never even seen myself! Fortunately fear of failure motivates me and so I spent a good deal of time reading manuals before I went.
 

San Jose 2009 06 03 005

So I’m standing in one of the small stores in the Austin airport looking at the book rack. The book rack goes to about chest height, and then the wall behind it is glass, so you can see the people sitting in the food court area outside the store .. . and they can see in . . .
As I’m looking at the books my eye is caught by movement and I glance up to see this pretty young lady stretching up in her seat to peek at me. As soon as I glanced her way, her head ducks back down so that I can’t see her eyes anymore. A moment later I see it poking back up, and there she is peeking at me again. Feeling a little playful, a stretched up on to my toes so that I could look at her over the books, and found myself facing four young ladies sitting around a table, and all were turned in my direction and looking right at me. I can’t hear her, but I can see the lips of the girl that had been peeking at me say “I told you!”  Still having fun, I just winked at them and went back to looking at the books.
 
This time I flew American Airlines, and they treated me quite well, as have all of the other airlines I’ve used. It was a fairly typical flight, with nothing of any real interest occurring. The gentleman sitting next to me was quite friendly, and we chatted a little, but not enough to risk annoying each other.
 
When the rental car shuttle bus pulled up in front of me, it was already packed with people, so it took me a little bit of effort to get my bag and myself on it and in place. As I took my seat and started looking around, I realize the bus is almost entirely full of what I assume were Amish folks. The women all wore scarves and fairly plain dresses, and the men all wore round and black hats and had beards but no mustaches. I noticed that a few of them glanced my way but they didn’t appear at all concerned with me. I couldn’t help noticing that a couple of the older men were wearing what appeared to me to be fairly expensive suites – at least the fabric was expensive. It just seemed so odd to see these folks on a bus. When they got off and the door closed, the man across from me looked up and smiled.
“They are a long way from home, huh?” he said.
“It sure looks that way.” I replied “You know, it must take an awful lot of courage for them to make a trip like this.”  He merely nodded his agreement.
 
I hate to sound racist or ignorant, but I have to admit to a bit of trepidation when I got to the Avis rental car lot at the San Jose airport because all of the men there were wearing turbans. I’m fairly sure this is the custom for men from many nations and regions around the world, so I have no idea what country or culture most of them came from, nor how they might feel about someone transgender like myself. All I know is that I was a bit nervous handing my male drivers license over at the security gate, but my concern was for nothing. The man didn’t bat an eye and didn’t even hesitate at the difference between my appearance and the picture on my drivers license.
 
As I was leaving the airport, I realized it wasn’t even noon yet, and so decided to use my GPS to find a few Goodwill thrift stores and go shopping! I went through two of them but found nothing I was in the slightest bit interested in. The difference between Goodwill stores in different regions can be quite striking. Some have very nice things in them and are very pleasant to shop in. Some, like the two I hit here, were kind of plain and filled with stuff that really should have been thrown out. Oh well . . .
Still far too early to check into my hotel, I searched for and found a mall. How was I supposed to know that the Valley Fair Mall is where the wealthy people shop and that I had no business going there? My latest shopping quest is for a neat pair of brown shoes. I have an increasing number of Earth tone outfits but don’t really have a good pair of shoes to go with them, so I started my shopping expedition at Nordstrom’s shoe department, where I hit their sales rack. I found a pair of brown shoes that I thought were a bit interesting and picked them up to discover that even on sale, these shoes were going for just short of $400 dollars. Sorry, but that is way too rich for this little red neck, so decided that it was time to leave Nordstrom’s and see what else the mall had to offer. Walking through the mall I got several of the “I know what you are looks” from other patrons and from sales associates, but still no one was rude or anything like that. I found a really neat pair of retro looking brown shoes at Macy’s on sale for $49! My problem with womens shoes is that my let foot is about half a size larger than my right, so when I buy a pair of shoes I can count on one or the other not fitting quite right – either one will be too loose, or the other too tight. Since these were the only pair remaining, this time I was going to have to settle for the left foot being a bit too tight. Still, I walked around in them for a moment or two and decided that it wasn’t too bad, and they were really cute, and so I bought them.
 
By now it was late enough to check in to my hotel room and so I headed for the Holiday Inn Express in Fremont. When I entered, I found that the woman behind the counter was an absolutely stunning Indian. She was in her mid to late 20’s, and had huge amounts of long, dark, and gorgeous hair cascading down well past her waist. It took me a moment to find my voice and tell her my name as I noticed her huge brown eyes. The sad thing is that while I was mesmerized by her, she was less than thrilled with me. She clearly was not impressed with me, and her smile was completely insincere, never making it to her eyes. Several times over the next couple of days as I came and went, I got the same vibe from her:  “I work here and will be professional, but I don’t like you” was the way her look made me feel.
 

San Jose 2009 06 03 010

I made a call to Carin, an online friend that I have been chatting with for a couple of years but had never actually met, and she made her way to my hotel where we sat and chatted for a bit. As we spoke, I would every once in a while catch just the hint of an accent and finally asked her about it. It turns out that she was born and raised in Ireland, a country that fascinates me. Supposedly I am a quarter Irish (Irish, German, French, and American Indian – a mutt!) and so Ireland has always held an interest for me, and as stupid as this sounds, I’ve always liked the Irish brogue. Were a pretty girl with in Irish brogue ever to approach me, I could be in serious trouble! We spoke for about an hour in my room, and then went to get Coffee at “Pete’s”. I’d never heard of the place, but apparently it is fairly popular and on a par with places like Starbucks. We were sitting outside and enjoying the breeze for a bit and then asked a lady sitting next to us if she would snap a picture for my blog. She laughed and confided that was actually a professional photographer and would be happy to. I told her that my camera shouldn’t present much of a challenge for her then.
San Jose 2009 06 03 011
Carin was wonderful, exactly who I was hoping she would be based on the posts I’d read from her over the years. Clearly a very intelligent person, and a very caring person as well. Carin and her wife had adopted several children that had come from less than nice circumstances, and so had seven children I think she said. I can’t imagine the kind of courage and dedication it would take to bring so many children in to your home and try and give them a decent life. If you knew nothing more about Carin, this would be enough to tell you what kind of person she is. And I have to tell you, that girl is SKINNY!  She’s one of those people we all hate who gets to walk into a shop and know she can pick anything off the rack she wants and it will fit. So many times I’ve found gorgeous dresses and tops that I would have loved to get, just to find that they were size 6 to 8, and were no where near fitting on my size 12 to 14 butt.  Grrrrrr!!!!!   Clearly Carin does not have this problem. It is of course not my place to share her problems with the world, but I think it is fair to say that Carin is in kind of a tough time in her life and trying hard to make the best of things. I very much hope that things will turn out well for her – I think that she and her family deserve it.
We went to dinner at Red Lobster where she ate like a rabbit and I ate like pig. It seems like old army habits die hard, because I realized I was almost done with my dinner and she had hardly started her own. It didn’t help that I hadn’t eaten anything all day and so was starving to death. When diner was done, we declined desert and so the waitress returned with the check. When she was setting it on the table, the “magic” shoes struck again.
“Those are cute shoes!” she told me with a huge smile. Apparently Carin had read my many posts about the magic shoes that seem to draw compliments from women every time I wear them, because from across the table I hear a snort and then a laugh from her.
“It’s true!” Carin said “And now you have a witness!”
 
 
 
The next day it was time to earn my paycheck. Since this new system had a brand new model of generator in it that I had never been trained on or even seen, I started my morning off by reading the entire manual again so that maybe I could avoid looking like an idiot in front of my customer. In addition to the customer, one of my companies local engineers was going with me for OJT, so if I made a fool out of my self, there was going to be a witness from my own company as well. The company I was working with had rescheduled this startup several times, and in the four weeks of interaction with them, the guy I was told to work with had changed three times. Let’s just say I didn’t have a lot of faith that they had done their portion of the install correctly and so fully expected this install to be a pain in the butt. No pressure though . . .  Surprise, surprise, they had done a fine job and provided my system with everything we needed, and had done a good job with their cables and connections between their tool and mine – everything ran flawlessly. Most of the time on these installs is usually used finding and correcting faults with my customers cables and signals and none of that was required for this one, so it went very quickly and easily. Even dragging things out by checking all of our interlocks and safeties, and anything else I could do to give the customer the impression that he was getting something from our presence, it still only took us about 4 hours from start to finish. A two day install, and I was done in four hours – cool! 
 
The other engineer I was working with suggested we get lunch and a beer, and further suggested that we do it at “Hooters”. Places like Hooters tend to bring conflicting feelings and emotions for me. On the one hand, I admire the female figure at least as much as any other guy. On the other hand, there is also a part of me that envy’s the girls there for their looks and their figures. To make matters even worse, now that I have a daughter, there is a small voice in the back of my head saying “How would you feel if someday some 40 year old man is staring at YOUR daughters behind like that?!” Brrrrrr. . . .  So, ate lunch, drank a couple of beers, and then we each headed our own ways!
 

San Jose 2009 06 04 003

San Jose 2009 06 04 002


That night I was to meet with Anita Prescott of the Vanity Club for dinner. I wore the new floaty brown skirt I got a month or so ago, and the cute brown shoes I had just purchased yesterday. Rather pleased with myself and my appearance, I headed out of my room and past the front desk, where I again received an ice cold smile from the beautiful woman at the counter. I got to Anita’s home about 40 minutes later, transferred over to her car, and we made the drive to San Francisco for dinner! The drive took at least an hour longer than it should have due to an accident ahead of us. We spent an hour at the entrance to the bridge into San Fran, moving no more than three or four car lengths the entire period.

San Jose 2009 06 04 005

San Fransisco 2009 06 04 013

At last the traffic started moving and we arrived at the Ana Mandara restaurant about an hour late for our reservations. Anita had done a terrific job in choosing the restaurant as it was unique, very elegant, and had great food AND a live jazz band! 

San Jose 2009 06 04 018

Anita Mae Prescott and Kimberly Huddle 021

Anita and I chatted about just about everything in the hours we were stuck in traffic and in the restaurant. The part that really stuck with me was the way that she and her wife had worked for years to build their own sail boat, and shortly after this dream boat was at last complete, her wife died. Needless to say, the boat had too many memories, and Anita got rid of it shortly thereafter. I’ll be damned if my eyes aren’t tearing up just thinking about it. Anita was a great gal, and a good host, I thank her very much for wasting her time with me.
The bad news is, after wearing my new shoes for a prolonged period, the toes on my left foot were screaming! When I’d tried them on in the store, the one foot had been snug, but not painful, but over an hour or so it became fairly painful. Brand new and awesome looking shoes and I may not be able to wear them much. I could just about cry. . .
 
 
 
 
I started the next day by following up with my customer to be sure that everything was still working well, and to see if they had any questions or concerns. Everything was great, and the customer did not want to see me, so I was free for the day! My integrity kept nagging at me that I really should try and get a flight home today, but I rationalized that the money I would have saved my company in hotels would have been offset by the cost of my changing my flights, and so I enjoyed a day in the San Jose area.

San Jose 2009 06 05 002


This time as I walked by the hotels front desk, there was a different lady there, and she gave me a genuine smile as I walked out the door.
“Have a nice day!” she said with a smile as I walked by.
“I hope you have a great day too!” I told her, with my best smile.

San Jose 2009 06 05 005

This time I headed for the “Great Mall”, where I intended to watch a movie and then do some window shopping. I still had it in the back of my head that I might find another pair of brown shoes that I could afford, so I kept an eye out for them.
I actually ended up watching two movies, not just one. I know that the critics had torn it up, but I thought that “Angels and Demons” was a good movie. As far as I’m concerned, the point to your average movie is to entertain, and this movie did a good job of that.
“Land of the Lost” I did not enjoy so much. It was OK, with a few good laughs, but it just wasn’t my cup of tea. Two movies under my belt, I headed in to the mall itself and started the very long hike through the entire thing. You know, I hope I don’t offend anyone by saying this, but despite the fact that it is where I was born, and despite it’s reputation for being something like the great Mecca for Gay and Transgendered life, California is one of my least favorite places to hang out cross dressed. Don’t get me wrong, the transgendered folks I’ve met there are top notch folks. Maybe it’s just me, but it seems like people are very quick to identify me as TG here. Maybe it’s because they know that there are so many of us in the region and so they are predisposed to consider it when looking at others, or maybe it’s just in my head, but it just seems like passing, and being truly perceived as female, is damn near impossible for me in Northern California. Don’t get me wrong, everyone still treated me well, and no one was rude, but I just felt like I was being treated more like “the cross dresser” than like a woman. I was surprised by how many stores there were in he mall that sold only gowns, and some of them quite elaborate gowns. I looked at one lovely gown, Gold and long, with multiple skirts and layers, thinking it would look fabulous for the Southern Comfort Conference, but I had to walk away from it when the price tag showed it cost over $700. I’m sure it was worth it, but I haven’t got that kind of money for this sort of thing. Damn it.
I didn’t find a pair of shoes in the mall that I couldn’t live with out and so headed back toward the hotel. I say headed toward it, because part way there I stumbled across a DSW Shoe Warehouse and was drawn in against my will and better judgment. What do you know – I found a pair of cute little Mary Janes in brown AND they were on sale for less than $30 so I grabbed ‘em. I sat down in the car, trying to decide if I’d had enough for the day, or if I wanted to do anything else. I decided to check out a “friendly” bar called “The Savoy” in Santa Clara. I’d been there with Niya Blake before on a work night, and so I thought I’d see what it was like on Friday nights. There really weren’t that many people there when I arrived and I walked straight up the bar. The bartender was an adorable little girl, with short brown hair, big brown eyes, and a figure I wish like hell I had. She mixed me up a really good White Russian and I took it to a table where I could still see the TV. As I sat there looking around and feeling kind of bored, I noticed another tgirl sitting at the bar all by herself. I figured ‘what the hell’, grabbed my stuff and walked up to her.

San Jose 2009 06 05 007


“Sitting alone sucks, do you mind if I crowd you a bit?” I asked her.
“Not at all!” she said with a laugh. “Have a seat!”
We talked for a couple of hours and found that we had much in common. She had spent some time in the Marines and so there was a little good natured back and forth that you will always get when the Army and Marines get together. Turns out most of the males in her family had been in the Army so she didn’t pick on me too bad. I couldn’t help laughing though.
“So let me get this straight. They were all in the Army but didn’t try to convince you to go in to the Air force?” I asked her. She didn’t understand what I was getting at at first so I clarified it.
“At one point or another, most of us that were in the Army wished like hell we’d had the sense to join the Air force instead. They might have saved you the hassle by convincing you to go Air Force instead!” That got a good laugh from her. A brave person this one! When she was younger, she had just gotten on a cargo ship to Korea where she had made a living for a year or more. Can you imagine the courage it would take to just get on a boat and sail off to another country where you were going to make a go of it?
She had only been going out in the world cross dressed for about three months, and was still purty new to the whole thing. I bragged about some of the things I’ve done, trying to give her courage that she too could do anything she wanted to. I saw her eyes sparkle a couple of times and have a hunch she’s gonna be busy out and about in the near future. Anyway, we spent a couple of hours in very comfortable conversation, and it was an entirely pleasant night!
 
 
The next day was just my trip home as boring old Matt, but I had something neat happen. A woman in her 60’s was standing in line behind me and I was chatting with her a bit. We had stopped talking for some time when she reaches out and touches my arm.
“Your eyes are absolutely beautiful!” she told me, with a real kind tone of voice. She wasn’t flirting with me or anything, she was just giving me a compliment, but still I couldn’t help but blush.
“Well thank you so much! It’s been a long time since a lady has told me that and you just made my entire day!”